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MODERN ROMANS: A WARNING FOR AMERICA, BRITAIN AND ISRAEL


Chapter 11


Breakdown of Family and Rapid Increase in Divorce 

How Roman family life existed as Rome rose to power and how it began to break down at the height of its power exactly parallels what has occurred in America and Britain.

Family is the basic foundation of any society. It lays the groundwork for developing character, values, learning to work with others, loyalty, respect for authority, morality and self-control. Romans in the early days of the Empire understood this very well and was instrumental in the rise of Rome.

Author Philip Van Ness Myers documents in his book “Rome: Its Rise and Fall”: “First, at the bottom as it were of Roman society and forming its ultimate unit, was the family....The most important feature or element of this family group was the authority of the father....“It would be difficult to overestimate the influence of this group upon the history and destiny of Rome. It was the cradle of at least some of those splendid virtues of the early Romans that contributed so much to the strength and greatness of Rome, and that helped to give her dominion of the world” (pp. 11-12).

Myers continues: “It was in the atmosphere of the family that were nourished in the Roman youth the virtues of obedience and of deference to authority. When the youth became a citizen, obedience to magistrates and respect for law was in him as instinct and indeed almost a religion. And, on the other hand, the exercise of the parental authority in the family taught the Roman how to command as well as how to obey – how to exercise authority with wisdom, moderation, and justice” (p. 15).

The same family structure, with the father in-charge laid the foundation for the rise of America and Britain to greatness and supported them during the zenith of their power.

Roman parents did not leave the teaching of their children to slaves and servants. E. B. Castle writes in his book “Ancient Education and Today”: “The [early Roman] boy’s upbringing was founded on a profound conviction of the power of example, first of the father himself as a representative of virtues peculiarly Roman, but also of the great prototypes of Roman valor in the boy’s family and national history who were presented to him as men worthy of admiration” (p. 114). 

Roman fathers thus taught their sons to emulate the most admirable heroes in their family and national history.

In the early years till the age of 7, mothers handled the responsibilities of educating the children. Romans accorded great honor and respect for women who were mothers and homemakers. Tacitus, a Roman historian of the early Empire, wrote: “In the good old days [of the Republic], every man’s son, born in wedlock, was brought up not in the chamber of some hireling nurse, but in his mother’s lap, and at her knee. And that mother could have no higher praise than that she managed the house and gave herself to her children....“Religiously and with the utmost delicacy she regulated not only the serious tasks of her youthful charges, but their recreations also and their games” (Tacitus, Dialogue on Oratory, 28, Loeb Classics).

When the son turned 7, he went from the exclusive care of his mother to continue his education under the tutelage of his father. Castle states: “The idea of entrusting the training of a future Roman citizen to the incompetent guidance of a slave was repellent to the Roman mind at this time” (ibid., p. 113).

Breakdown of the Family

Unfortunately, the stable Roman family didn’t last. As tribute poured in from conquered nations, social life in Rome began to change rapidly, beginning with the upper classes. Pursuit of wealth through commerce and trade became the objective of many a Roman. Men of ability and strength traveled to far-flung reaches of the empire in pursuit of business for long periods of time, leaving wives and children at home. It began the slide in morality. The Romans began to practice the “New Morality.”

E.B Castle writes: “Added  to  this  initial  cause  of  family  disruption  was  the  consequent easy  attitude  to  the marriage tie, the increasing frequency of divorce, and growing freedom and laxity in women’s morals, all of which ended in a loosening of the old family unit in which the best in Roman character had its roots. 

“Great as were the men who made history in these last years of the Republic, there was yet something lacking in moral stature among the Roman upper classes which had been characteristic of earlier generations. Personal aggrandizement was too eagerly sought and too readily achieved by the ruthless...and the old traditions of selfless service to the state were weakening” (Ibid., pp. 119, 120).

Roman men began to “play around” on long business trips, in their offices, with neighbors’ wives and with slaves. Slavery played a large role in loosening morals. American experience has been similar with new revelations about some of America’s founding fathers having had affairs with their slaves. 

Jerome Carcopino states in “Daily Life in Ancient Rome” that by the beginning of the second century A.D., Roman fathers had “yielded to the impulse to become far too complaisant. Having given up the habit of controlling their children, they let the children govern them, and took pleasure in bleeding themselves white to gratify the expensive whims of their offspring. The result was that they were succeeded by a generation of idlers and wastrels....

“The fine edge of character had been blunted in the Rome of the second century [A.D.]. The stern face of the traditional ‘pater familias’ [the father of the family] had faded out; instead we see on every  hand  the  flabby  face  of  the  son  of  the  house, the eternal spoiled child of society, who has grown accustomed to luxury and lost all sense of discipline” (pp. 78-79).

Hasn’t that same scenario played out exactly in America, Britain and developed countries of the world. The same is happening among families that have grown rich around the world, particularly in China and India now.   

With father being out of the home on long trips, whether in employment in the army or on business trips, and the resulting promiscuity and loosening morals, marital breakdown was bound to follow. Authors of early Roman history such as Valerius Maximus and Dionysius of Halicarnassus state that divorce in early Rome was virtually unknown. But from the first century B.C. onwards, from about the time of Cicero, divorce became commonplace. Carcopino writes: “From this time on, we witness an epidemic of divorces, at least among the aristocracy whose matrimonial adventures are documented,” (ibid., p. 97). 

Concerning the Rome of the Antonine period (138-193 A.D.), Carcopino quotes from Seneca, who witnessed the same problem a number of decades before (around 60 A.D.): “They divorce in order to remarry. They marry in order to divorce” (ibid., p. 100). The Roman writer Martial declared that marriage had become merely a form of legalized adultery!

Almost exactly the same words can be used to describe the breakdown in marriages in America and Britain today.

According to conservative estimates, 41% (45-50% according to other estimates) of first marriages, 60% of second marriages and 73% of third marriages in the USA end in divorce (Source Enrichment Journal as provided by www.divorcestatistics.org). 

In Britain 42% of marriages end in divorce. About 60% of marriages are expected to end in divorce by their 20th wedding anniversary. (https://www.crispandco.com/site/divorce-statistics/). 

In America, the divorce rate per 1000 of population has actually declined from 4.7 in 1991 to 3.6 in 2010. These statistics, however, can lead to the wrong conclusion that the state of marriages is improving. The statistics have to be examined together with another troubling trend. The percentage of women who are cohabiting (living with a man in a sexual relationship) rose from 3.0% in 1982 to 17.1% in 2015; it was higher in some groups, including Hispanic, and the less educated. This means that since these people are not marrying, their separation from cohabiting partners (which can be as traumatic as a divorce from marriage with troubling consequences for the children, family and friends) does not show up in divorce statistics. Therefore, the estimates that first marriages, or marriage-like cohabitation relationships break up is close to 50%, thus showing an increasing divorce trend.

Another troubling trend is that divorce rate among adults 50 and older has doubled since 1990, and for those 65 and older has tripled. (Data from www.pewresearch.org)

In the U.K., from 2008 to 2018, the proportion of cohabiting couple families, the second largest family type, has increased from 15.3% to 17.9%. (https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2019/aug/07/cohabiting-couples-fastest-growing-family-type-ons).

The rising trend in cohabitation does not bode well for marriage in America and Britain because it has been well documented that the likelihood of first marriages ending up in divorce is higher if they are preceded by cohabitation by the spouses.  

Cohabitation also contributes to rise in the number of never married adults.

According to the Pew Research Center, “After decades of declining marriage rates and changes in family structure, the share of American adults who have never been married is at an historic high. In 2012, one-in-five adults ages 25 and older (about 42 million people) had never been married, according to a new Pew Research Center analysis of census data. In 1960, only about one-in-ten adults (9%) in that age range had never been married. Men are more likely than women to have never been married (23% vs. 17% in 2012). And this gender gap has widened since 1960, when 10% of men ages 25 and older and 8% of women of the same age had never married. 

These marriage statistics are reflected in out of wedlock births: the U.S. average is 40% whereas the British average is 48%. Total number of births to unmarried women in the USA is 1,533,901 and around 326,650 in England and Wales.

Since breakdown of the family and increase in divorce was a contributing factor in the fall of Rome, it will be a major factor in the fall of America and British Commonwealth nations.

The “feminist movement” is not only a modern phenomenon in the western world. It was alive and well in Rome as well. Roman historians noted that the “battle of the sexes” began to manifest itself as the Roman Empire became rich. Historian Carcopino wrote: “Some evaded the duties of maternity [did not want to have children] for fear of losing their good looks [or losing their figures in modern American parlance], some took pride in being behind their husbands in no sphere of activity, and vied with them in tests of strength which their sex would have seemed to forbid [do we see the parallel in America with women taking up boxing, wrestling, weight-lifting and other similar sports]; some were not content to live their lives by their husband’s side, but carried on another life without him...“’To live your own life’ was a formula which women had already brought into fashion in the second century....It is obvious that unhappy marriages must have been innumerable” (op. cit., pp. 90, 93, 95). 

As Rome became decadent, citizens became confused about sex and marriage, especially among the wealthy and ruling class, which lifestyles were imitated by the common citizens. Myers notes: “One cause of the decline in population [in the Empire] was the singular aversion that the better class of the Romans evinced to marriage….Penalties and bounties, deprivations and privileges, entreaties and expostulations are in turn resorted to by the perplexed emperors, in order to discourage celibacy and to foster a pure and healthy family life. ”But all was in vain. The marriage state continued to be held in great disesteem” (op. cit., p. 447).

Attitudes concerning sex and marriage are in great chaotic confusion in America and Britain. We don’t even acknowledge the difference between men and women any longer, and that marriage should be between a man and a woman. Boys and girls are being taught that they can choose to call themselves by whatever sex they like. A boy can choose to identify himself as a girl and vice versa. Modern sociologists declare that the traditional marriage between a man and a woman is ‘obsolete.’ God calls our attitudes perversion.

Rome traveled this road and fell. America and Britain are traveling a worse road with many more pits and snares and should expect the same result, only quicker.



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